Apparently Palau has a problem with England because I picked up a local paper the other day and was stunned to find a quarter of a page dedicated to "Short England Jokes.” Take into account the paper here is only a dozen pages long and is only printed every few days. (My apologies to all of my British and anglophile friends). 


Short England jokes

Q: How do police know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
A: They found her head and shoulders under the steering wheel. 

Q: How does every English joke start? 
A: By looking over your shoulder. 

Q: What’s the difference between a smart English man and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they’re both fictional characters.

Q: What’s the difference between England and a tea bag?
A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

Q: Why did the Siamese twins move to England? 
A: So the other one could drive! 

Q: What do you call an Englishman in the knockout stages of the World Cup?
A: A Referee.

Q: Why was Fabio Capello speeding?
A: To get three points. 

Q: What does the Loch Ness monster eat?
A: Fish and ships.

Q: What’s the difference between Princess Diana and Elton John? 
A: Princess Diana never became a queen of England. 

Q: Why aren’t the England football team allowed to own a dog?
A: Because they can’t hold on to a lead. 

Q: What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? 
A: Their first big hit was the wall!

Q: Who’s the best football player in England? 
A: Tom Daley because he dives a lot. 

Q: What do you call a Scotsman with diarrhea? 
A: Bravefart.

Q: Why do the English make better lovers than the Germans? 
A: Because English are the only ones who can stay on top for 45 minutes and still come second. 

Q: Did you hear about the winner of the English beauty contest?
A: Me neither. 

Q: What’s the difference between Cinderella and the England football team?
A: Cinderella wanted to get to the ball.